Monday, August 1, 2011

Trust.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

I remember the day Matt told me he was frustrated enough with his job that he would pack everything up that very minute and move somewhere else for a better opportunity. It kind of made my head spin a little. I hate change, and moving somewhere else would definitely be a big change. For as long as Matt and I have been together, we'd always planned to live in North Carolina."But what about everything we have here? What about your family? What about our friends? What about our house? What about our church? What about MY job?" To which he responded with something about every door being closed and feeling like he was against a brick wall. Honestly, I had a really hard time listening over the multitude of questions in my head.

For the next several months, he kept applying to jobs in and around Charlotte, then eventually started looking in Winston, Greensboro, even as far away as Raleigh and other big cities outside of North Carolina. Nothing.

Things got more discouraging for him at work. He became more and more discouraged as a person, and we were completely miserable. It's a really helpless feeling as a wife to watch your husband go through that. It was the most challenging and lonely time I've ever experienced.

But slowly, without us really noticing at first, our hearts were starting to change. Things started happening that, although they didn't make sense at the time, changed the way we looked at all the situations we had previously been concerned about. We heard about a couple of potential job openings in other places, so we decided to put our house on the market right after New Year's, so we would be free to go at any time to any place God might lead.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We closed the sale on our house last Friday, July 29, 2011. Both of us signed the papers from our own offices at our new jobs in Dallas, Texas. I've tried and tried to put down on paper the way I felt at that moment, and I just can't do it. The last year of my life has been one huge lesson in faith. A lesson in "trust in the Lord with all your heart." A lesson in "do not depend on your own understanding." For months we tried to do it on our own. I couldn't for the life of me understand why Matt's job was as miserable as it was. I couldn't understand why our house took nearly 8 months to sell.

But then we decided to "let go and let God" and things started happening.

We prayed and prayed for a career opportunity for Matt, and God allowed Matt to be chosen for an awesome job in Texas.

We cried over having so many bills to pay with just one income, and God miraculously provided a job for me so quickly that I never even missed a paycheck.

We started trying to be better stewards of the things we have been blessed with, and God multiplied our money in ways we could never have imagined.

We tightened our belts, and God tightened our marriage.

We stopped trusting our plans and God showed us exactly which steps to take.

There is no better place in the world than the center of where God wants us. We just have to trust Him.
This has not been an easy lesson. Change is always a little hard in one way or another, even when you know for sure you are where you're supposed to be. There were so many times I couldn't see beyond the discomfort of a particular situation, in order to see what the big picture was. It's kind of the proverbial "I can't see the forest for all the trees" scenario.

But just keep seeking Him, and "He will show you which path to take."

Thank you Jesus!

~SMurph~