Monday, April 5, 2010

Tax Season

Well, only about 10 more days of the 2009 tax season! Yippee!! Overall, it's been a good season. Not quite as busy as last year, which I guess could be good or bad. But for me personally, I feel like I have learned and grown much more this year than last. I guess it's just because it's not my first one.

I consider myself very fortunate to have a job that I absolutely love. I love the people I work with, the actual work I do, and most of the clients. MOST.

We generally have several things that happen every day to make us laugh as well, so that's a nice break to the seriousness of taxes.

I'm noticing though that due to everything happening in the economy, there seem to be two extremes of people. Half the people who have come through the door have been unusually demanding and eager to determine how much they will pay us and when. It seems like someone has put into their minds the idea that they should get everything handed to them for free, the way they want it and when they want it, without lifting a finger. I can't imagine where THAT idea would have come from!

The other extreme of people are completely discouraged. They're tired of working their tails off to support some "disabled" 25-year-old immigrant with twelve billion kids. I guess they are starting to figure they may as well quit their jobs and rely on handouts like everyone else. We are in bad shape, folks!

Here are a few other random things my job has taught me:

1. Don't get rid of ANYTHING! As soon as you shred something you will need it.

2. No one knows the correct way to abbreviate the word "Associates". For the record, the correct way is "Assoc." I'm sure you can imagine where I'm going with this..... Let's just say it's not so good for our self esteem!

3. Two words for this one: Retail Therapy. Not sure how I never knew of that before. My husband is thrilled that I've discovered it. :)

4. Oreos and Diet Coke are NOT a suitable meal when you sit at a desk all day long. Somehow, the oreos magically find their way to your hind side and like to stay there for a very long time.

5. Last but not least, coffee is an amazing hunger suppressant. And very good for you, according to my boss. Not to mention I can do twice the amount of work in half the time. Amazing! :)

~SM~

Friday, April 2, 2010

Empty

I'm feeling very lonely these last couple of days. Maybe it's the fact that it's a holiday weekend, and that makes me think of all the Easters back home with my family...

Egg hunts that would last several hours.

My cousins and I dumping all our candy out and trading it back and forth.

Just being with my family.

It's so easy to take those things for granted. You never think about how great it is until it's not that way anymore. But in my case, if I went back to the way it was, I wouldn't have my amazing husband, my sweet puppies, my house....none of the things that I take for granted now. Is that what my life is?? A series of events or phases that I will take for granted until they are gone?

I want it to be different.

I NEED it to be different.

Max Lucado was speaking on the radio the other day about this Easter weekend. He pointed out how everyone obviously puts a lot of emphasis on both Friday and Sunday, but you rarely hear anything about that Easter Saturday. He described the day as being sad and silent. Jesus' followers were waiting.....unsure what to do or think. Then he pointed out how he believes that many Christians are stuck on Saturday. They have been saved, believe in the power of God, yet there is something lacking. There is some kind of doubt....

...FEAR.

That really struck a chord with me. It kind of sums up how I've been feeling for quite some time. This spiritual "rut" that I'm in. It's like I've been waiting to get my life in order. To learn how to be a wife, an accountant, to live away from my family, to move to a (very) different state....to be an adult. After that it was the struggle of trying to find a church that we liked. One that taught truth, but that wasn't stuck in giving you a set of rules or expectations to meet.

Then it was friends....we didn't have any.

All that is different now. We've made an amazing group of friends, found an awesome church, my job is going awesome, and Matt and I are really happy. And yet I'm still stuck on "Saturday".

I want it to be different.

I NEED it to be different.


I'm going to tell you something awesome....ready? I may be stuck on "Saturday" right now, but Sunday's coming! It always does! And you know what happens on Sunday? Jesus gets the final victory! I think I may be experiencing some loneliness right now to prepare my heart. I am so desperate to have that closeness with my Savior. The closeness I haven't felt in a very long time. I can feel the walls starting to shake, and soon all these struggles will be nothing.

Joy comes in the morning!

~SM~

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Well, that was two hours of my life that I'll never get back. Matt and I just watched "The Box." If you haven't seen it yet, don't bother. What could have been a great story about human greed was instead turned into some bizarre sci-fi-ish, government conspiracy-ish, horrible movie. I could think of about a dozen better ways to waste time.

So I figured out how to change the name of my blog. AND I found a much cuter background/layout. Go me!

We talked about lukewarmness in Sunday School this morning. It had to do with the story of Stephen being stoned. The whole lesson was about making choices and how Stephen could either choose to deny Christ and live or stand by his beliefs and die. Every time I've heard that story, I've kind of thought Stephen had two choices: A or B. But if you think about it, Stephen could have chosen option C, and decided not to preach Christ OR deny him. He could have said "Let's just pretend this never happened, and you'll never hear about it from me again." How much easier would that have been? But that would have totally missed the point. God wants us to either be hot or cold. He says of lukewarm believers that He will spew them out of His mouth. Wow!

I know what God has said about lukewarm believers, but I'm not sure I ever actually thought about what that looks like exactly. And if I'm completely honest with myself, I would have to say that if I was in Stephen's place today, I would probably choose option C. I'm ashamed to admit that.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me lately. I'm feeling kind of in a pit of sorts. There really isn't any reason for it, although in my mind I can go through millions of excuses. I don't remember ever struggling this much spiritually before. I believe it like I always have, I guess I'm just not particularly "on fire" or totally excited about it. I HATE that. It's like having a huge part of you dead.

Scanning over the last paragraph I typed, I might have a hunch about what my problem is. It truly is a "my" problem. I used to be such a dependent person, never wanted to be alone, always wanted help with everything. But over the last year, that has totally changed. It probably has to do with having so many huge life changes in a year. I mean, graduating college, getting married, moving halfway across the country away from everyone and everything I've ever known, starting a new job, and trying to make new friends has the potential to throw even the strongest person into a tailspin. I convinced myself for so many months that I was okay. Life was great, I was totally in control and doing amazing. But I was totally lying to myself. It really is okay to be sad about things, to need an adjustment period to cope with that many changes!

I remember talking to my mom one day and coming to the realization that life in Wichita was going on like normal. Everything stopped for me when I left. Since I didn't have friends, I assumed that none of my Wichita friends had friends anymore either. I spent a lot of time missing my family, so clearly I thought they spent all that time missing me too. I was so lonely, but couldn't admit it to myself. Not to mention my husband. If I admitted I was lonely, I might have to cry for a little while. I might have to admit weakness. (two things I HATE!)

So instead of going to the feet of Jesus with my loneliness, I went inside myself. "Just be strong, be strong, be STRONG" I told myself.

You know what that taught me? The stronger I try to be, the weaker I am. This has turned out to be a really long process of re-learning lessons I've learned before in my spiritual walk. I get discouraged a lot that I can't just snap my fingers and be where I want to be. But I'm getting there, day by day.

So that's what's really on my heart lately. What's on yours?

~SM~

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Simply Sandi-The Beginning

I've thought about starting a blog for a while. My sister has a blog, and it's usually full of enlightening thoughts and spiritual challenges. I have a friend who has a blog, and hers is usually funny. I really can't promise that this will be either of those. I might not even tell anyone about it. We'll see how it goes. I've found that sometimes writing my thoughts out is the best way to process them. My mind is like a radio station continually on scan, and writing is a way to pause that momentarily; to make it all make sense.

A few of the random thoughts my mind is "scanning" through:

1. I wouldn't have started this tonight if I knew I had to NAME my blog. So, it has a stupid name because, a) my name is Sandi, and b) I'm a pretty simple person. It is what it is.

2. We had a great time in Lynchburg VA this weekend with little bro Murphy, and also got to see a few long-time friends of my family.

3. I think I missed my calling as an Olympic ice dancer.

4. Monday morning comes WAY too fast.

That's about all.

~Simply Me~