Being Myself

I will admit, I am somewhat EXTREMELY insecure. Recently I had an idea for a business I'd like to start someday, and wouldn't you know a girl I know started a business doing the same thing a couple weeks ago! Naturally my reaction wasn't "Great! Maybe I can pick her brain about what has worked and what hasn't." Instead my reaction was "I'm sure she's better at it than I would have been anyway. I guess it's not even worth my time to try."

Well hello Ms. Pessimistic Pants!

I am just so afraid of people thinking that what I do or say (or write!) is dumb.

Does anyone else do this, or is it just me? I get so excited about something, only to become my own biggest enemy. I suppose this is my biggest weakness as a person. Insecurity.

During the last couple of months, I've been doing some serious soul searching. I've always looked at girls who have natural, obvious talents, and wished I could be more like them. No one has ever specifically told me that I would be really good at cooking, or crafting, or decorating, or sewing, or baking, or etc. etc. etc. I've always assumed that if I had these talents, surely someone would tell me, right?

The truth of the matter is, I've never even tried to figure out what my own talents are. I've always been so worried about what people will think if they found out that I messed up, or did something poorly, or (heaven forbid) cooked something nasty. I mean, wouldn't you laugh at me???

Truthfully, we probably have all the same struggles. What are you insecure about?

I'm so tired of being this way, I think I'm ready to just dive right in and figure out who I am! I already know that (if I may say so) I am a pretty good cook most of the time. I also have recently started crafting some cards and small gifts and am thoroughly enjoying that! My newest adventure started with my birthday present from Matt: a sewing machine!

This will be a new adventure for me: Sharing with you my trials and failures through the world of blogging. But you know what? I'm just going to learn how to be myself and how to be okay with myself. So that means you have to be okay with me too!

I read this quote from E.E. Cummings today: "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest human battle ever and to never stop fighting."

I'm fighting the fight to be myself. And if I fail at something, it will just give us all something to laugh at, right?

~SM~